Above my left eye I have a faded scar seventeen stitches from a car accident. I told the Police a rabbit ran in front of me, what really happened was: "well let’s just stick with the rabbit ok."
On the back side of my scalp my hair grows diffrent due to a meeting of my car and a front porch in another unrelated event.
On my right nipple a small scar from jumping off the porch and landing in the rose bushes. I was trying out my new Batman cape at about age seven, damn I forgot Batman never flew that was Superman. I was never confused with the brightest kid in the neighborhood.
Just inside of my left forearm a burn from an exhaust manifold and a moment of frustration on my part. Sears 1 me 0.
You can find three small cuts across my abdomen from my gall bladder surgery two great results came from this surgery. I do not get sick after I eat now and the discovery of liquid Demerol. Only a genius could have created such a wonderful drug.
Just above my waist on my back a little larger scar from the removal on my L5 from my spine yes I said the removal if you are going to hurt something you might as well blow it up, so I did.
Above my left knee a scar; see the above mentioned rabbit story.
Each of these scars have a story to tell we all have them and the real scars cant even be seen but they still leave their mark's.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Just You
Today is my twenty third wedding anniversary I bought my wife: chocolate – so I can eat it - flowers and a card. I received a card this happens on most occasions gifts are just not a big deal around here, but I said something to her any way about no real presents I did not want her to be disappointed and her response was; “I have everything, I have you.”
My grandmother who passed away years ago gave me Dickeys for a Christmas gift one holiday. Not only are these awful but you need to realize I was in High School at the time and during my four year career in school my wardrobe was always the same except on picture day. Chuck Taylor’s, Levis, black concert T shirt, Kiss belt buckle and a flannel thrown in on cold days. I think a Dickey under my Ted Nugent T would have looked great. I miss my grand mother. I would wear those Dickeys everyday till I pass if I could see her again.
My friend Troy used to give me the silliest gifts every Christmas a bubble gum machine that fell off a truck, a neon beer light the bar did not really need it, a switch blade knife that attaches to my tool belt. I tear up every time I speak of him we were not talking at the end of his life he was killing himself with cocaine and I let him know about it. I would trade that knife which goes to work with me everyday for another chance to beat some since into him.
My mother in law gave me red IU slippers one year, I am a Butler fan but I wear these slippers all the time. We used to tease her quite a bit about life in general. You name the price I would pay it so Nancy could see her just for one more minuet together.
My father in law used to give advice I have achieved most of my wealth because I listened. Nancy needs advice all the time from her dad I am her husband it may be the same advice he would give but I think it’s different when it’s from your dad.
My friends and families gift is being there, they say it is the thought that counts its not it’s the person being right there that counts.
My grandmother who passed away years ago gave me Dickeys for a Christmas gift one holiday. Not only are these awful but you need to realize I was in High School at the time and during my four year career in school my wardrobe was always the same except on picture day. Chuck Taylor’s, Levis, black concert T shirt, Kiss belt buckle and a flannel thrown in on cold days. I think a Dickey under my Ted Nugent T would have looked great. I miss my grand mother. I would wear those Dickeys everyday till I pass if I could see her again.
My friend Troy used to give me the silliest gifts every Christmas a bubble gum machine that fell off a truck, a neon beer light the bar did not really need it, a switch blade knife that attaches to my tool belt. I tear up every time I speak of him we were not talking at the end of his life he was killing himself with cocaine and I let him know about it. I would trade that knife which goes to work with me everyday for another chance to beat some since into him.
My mother in law gave me red IU slippers one year, I am a Butler fan but I wear these slippers all the time. We used to tease her quite a bit about life in general. You name the price I would pay it so Nancy could see her just for one more minuet together.
My father in law used to give advice I have achieved most of my wealth because I listened. Nancy needs advice all the time from her dad I am her husband it may be the same advice he would give but I think it’s different when it’s from your dad.
My friends and families gift is being there, they say it is the thought that counts its not it’s the person being right there that counts.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Don’t Fall
Today I picked up a sixteen foot ladder and put it on one shoulder and a ten foot ladder and placed it on the other, then maneuvered them between pine trees and a plate glass window about three feet apart. The secret is balance after doing this many times before you learn where the balance points are in a ladder and the job is easy.
As I was working it struck me the similarities to the one speech that I have gave my kids over and over again which is balance in life. My daughter has heard it so many times she can repeat it backwards. I was thinking it is about time to talk to my middle son about this topic his Baseball is good, grades not so much this week.
The speech goes something like this: I believe your life is like a three legged stool one leg is your family and friends; one leg is your spirituality how ever that may look to you, and the last is what you do I.E. work, sport, school, etc. All three need equal attention if you neglect any one of them you will fall and all will suffer – Balance –
Standing on a ladder today at about 40 feet and reaching out it began to wobble and the lesson is simple when the ladder wobbles go back down and balance it.
Kind of like life…
As I was working it struck me the similarities to the one speech that I have gave my kids over and over again which is balance in life. My daughter has heard it so many times she can repeat it backwards. I was thinking it is about time to talk to my middle son about this topic his Baseball is good, grades not so much this week.
The speech goes something like this: I believe your life is like a three legged stool one leg is your family and friends; one leg is your spirituality how ever that may look to you, and the last is what you do I.E. work, sport, school, etc. All three need equal attention if you neglect any one of them you will fall and all will suffer – Balance –
Standing on a ladder today at about 40 feet and reaching out it began to wobble and the lesson is simple when the ladder wobbles go back down and balance it.
Kind of like life…
Saturday, April 17, 2010
A few loose Screws
I have been thinking about this cute Blog I was going to write titled Toy’s in the Attic and was going to write about the last time I got in the attic to retrieve something, and stopped to visit with an old year book, a kid’s toy, or other forgotten memorabilia. My problem is we have all been there done that, but today the same story with a different slant presented it’s self.
My brother in laws garage looks like a museum chalked out peg board, painted floors, every tool and utensil in perfect order. My garage looks like someone threw up a Sears’s tool department in an open state fair fan and then dumped A little motor oil on top just for giggles. So today would be my annual two hour attempt at clearing space for future projects that and Nancy has been giving me the stink eye frown of “do it now.”
After pushing everything into the drive so I could get a clear picture of the challenge that lay before me I ran into my drawers of nut's, nails, bolts, screws, etc. Three of these boxes were retrieved from Nancy’s uncle Jack after he passed away a little while back and in helping our favorite cousin clear his things out, I laid claim to his screw collection. A guy can never have enough tinker toys and he had a life time of them saved up. So lets start here with these an organize the screw drawers my kind of job.
I found a whole life time of experiences that no body else would have ever noticed unless you have the trained eyes of a tinkerer and I do. “Tinkerer is a Mark word bite me.”
I found master links to bike chains and knew at some point he bought them to work on his kid’s bikes. I found chains that are used to fix dripping toilets, been there done that. I found phone jacks so you can run a hard wire to another room and not pay the phone company for the extra phone some day I will explain this to the under twenty one crowd. I found twenty seven unopened packs of the same size nail’s this happens when we guys are at the hard ware store and can’t remember if we have one of these objects over and over again. I found eye hooks, I always buy eye hooks one day I may need one, I now have three hundred and four I will be ready when this need presents its self. I found four air pump needles and think of all the toys I have had to pump up over the years. I found all sorts of memories and not one of the objects had cost more than a nickel to buy. I found a half dozens Skelton keys I grew up in a home that used Skelton keys I saved these, they are way cool. But the best treasure of the day was the pen just like I found in my dad’s drawer when I was twelve yep a girl in a bikini turn the pen over and the bikini magically disappears cool it took me extra time to make sure it was in working order. Dad had a blue one, now I have a red one I am keeping it in that same drawer so one day someone will reorganize my nails and screws and they will find it and I know what there first question will be: I thought girls shaved in the 2000’s? Pen is circa 1960's..
I saw a tad bit of Jacks life today; it was similar to my dads and now mine. I hope who ever sorts through my stuff sees things like I do life is a little funnier with a few loose screws in it.
My brother in laws garage looks like a museum chalked out peg board, painted floors, every tool and utensil in perfect order. My garage looks like someone threw up a Sears’s tool department in an open state fair fan and then dumped A little motor oil on top just for giggles. So today would be my annual two hour attempt at clearing space for future projects that and Nancy has been giving me the stink eye frown of “do it now.”
After pushing everything into the drive so I could get a clear picture of the challenge that lay before me I ran into my drawers of nut's, nails, bolts, screws, etc. Three of these boxes were retrieved from Nancy’s uncle Jack after he passed away a little while back and in helping our favorite cousin clear his things out, I laid claim to his screw collection. A guy can never have enough tinker toys and he had a life time of them saved up. So lets start here with these an organize the screw drawers my kind of job.
I found a whole life time of experiences that no body else would have ever noticed unless you have the trained eyes of a tinkerer and I do. “Tinkerer is a Mark word bite me.”
I found master links to bike chains and knew at some point he bought them to work on his kid’s bikes. I found chains that are used to fix dripping toilets, been there done that. I found phone jacks so you can run a hard wire to another room and not pay the phone company for the extra phone some day I will explain this to the under twenty one crowd. I found twenty seven unopened packs of the same size nail’s this happens when we guys are at the hard ware store and can’t remember if we have one of these objects over and over again. I found eye hooks, I always buy eye hooks one day I may need one, I now have three hundred and four I will be ready when this need presents its self. I found four air pump needles and think of all the toys I have had to pump up over the years. I found all sorts of memories and not one of the objects had cost more than a nickel to buy. I found a half dozens Skelton keys I grew up in a home that used Skelton keys I saved these, they are way cool. But the best treasure of the day was the pen just like I found in my dad’s drawer when I was twelve yep a girl in a bikini turn the pen over and the bikini magically disappears cool it took me extra time to make sure it was in working order. Dad had a blue one, now I have a red one I am keeping it in that same drawer so one day someone will reorganize my nails and screws and they will find it and I know what there first question will be: I thought girls shaved in the 2000’s? Pen is circa 1960's..
I saw a tad bit of Jacks life today; it was similar to my dads and now mine. I hope who ever sorts through my stuff sees things like I do life is a little funnier with a few loose screws in it.
Who do you see
When I was seventeen I worked nights for a local paper. One night on my way home at a very late hour the car in front of me was broken down at a stop light. Since we were the only two cars on the road in any direction I got out offering my help. As I approached the car I noticed two scared old ladies inside the car. A lady on the driver side of the car locked the door as soon as she saw me. In her defense it was 1979 my ear was pierced not very common then, my hair was about mid way down my back, and I wore an old army trench coat.
Through the glass I asked what I could do for them they finally admitted to being out of gas. I told them I would go for some I knew where a can was back at work. I returned to work picked up the gas, drove back to the ladies poured it in they started their car and drove on. I do not remember them ever getting out of the car.
Thirty years later I find myself washing windows. I tend to work outside which means ladders, ninety degree days, basement pits, and scalding hot roofs so my attire can be lacking on most days.
While taking a break from a job I was sitting on my trucks tail gate drinking water and lifted my shirt to wipe my face. As I lowered it I noticed the customer looking at me and without a doubt I knew exactly what her assessment was: nasty clothes, tattoos, pick up truck, sweaty and washing windows for a living. I did not say a word just smiled to her and she walked off.
Everyone knows the stories about the scared woman in the elevator with two black men only to find out later it was MJ and Arsenial Hall. Or the stranded black woman on the side of the road as car after car drove by her. The lady turned out to be Nat King Cole’s wife. So on and so on yet we all judge we all turn our heads. Who are we to judge?
If Jesus were here today I would imagine him in jeans, work boots and a T. He was the son of a carpenter and hung out with fisherman. Pretty sure there would be a tattoo he was more of a street guy than a pulpit minister. So my question is: You see him on the street do you smile to him or just judge him?
With a nice clean window I see you do you see me?
Through the glass I asked what I could do for them they finally admitted to being out of gas. I told them I would go for some I knew where a can was back at work. I returned to work picked up the gas, drove back to the ladies poured it in they started their car and drove on. I do not remember them ever getting out of the car.
Thirty years later I find myself washing windows. I tend to work outside which means ladders, ninety degree days, basement pits, and scalding hot roofs so my attire can be lacking on most days.
While taking a break from a job I was sitting on my trucks tail gate drinking water and lifted my shirt to wipe my face. As I lowered it I noticed the customer looking at me and without a doubt I knew exactly what her assessment was: nasty clothes, tattoos, pick up truck, sweaty and washing windows for a living. I did not say a word just smiled to her and she walked off.
Everyone knows the stories about the scared woman in the elevator with two black men only to find out later it was MJ and Arsenial Hall. Or the stranded black woman on the side of the road as car after car drove by her. The lady turned out to be Nat King Cole’s wife. So on and so on yet we all judge we all turn our heads. Who are we to judge?
If Jesus were here today I would imagine him in jeans, work boots and a T. He was the son of a carpenter and hung out with fisherman. Pretty sure there would be a tattoo he was more of a street guy than a pulpit minister. So my question is: You see him on the street do you smile to him or just judge him?
With a nice clean window I see you do you see me?
Indianapolis to Host National Golden Gloves
One of my many passions is boxing recently me and my partner were awarded the opertunity to bring the Nationals to Indianapolis next year. If you know of anyone interested in being involved contact me at mepressley@comcast.net or see us at:The Golden Gloves organization has been around since its first tournament in 1923. Former champions include boxing great Joe Louis.
Other big names in the sport including Muhammed Ali, Sugar Ray Leonard and Oscar De La Hoya got their start in Golden Gloves events.
Source: Indiana Golden Gloves
The national contest is sponsored and controlled by the Golden Gloves Association of America; Inc. Winners from regional Golden Gloves competitions compete in the national competition, called the Golden Gloves Tournament of Champions. The Tournament of Champions is held once a year, and a new tournament site is selected annually. The US Golden Gloves program is currently organized on a territorial basis to give all sections of the country representation. All tournaments are planned, promoted and directed by the Golden Gloves Charities and within the limits of the amateur boxing code.
WHY SHOULD YOU BE INVOLVED?
• The Golden Gloves Association is a 501c3
• In addition to the three hundred fighters there will be over six thousand fans in attendance
• National media attention
• There are thirty one Clubs across America that will attend
• Eleven Weight Classes
• Three Hundred Fighters that must have one there weight class at the State Level to participate
• Open Divisions’ from ages seventeen to thirty five
• The winners from the 2011 Nationals will be invited to the Olympic Trials
• Help kids stay off the street and chase their dream
• Golden Gloves gives a scholarship every year
• Everyone knows who we are
Yesterday was a good day
I never understood statements such as: It was a good death, he died like a warrior, he died with honor, or he died with dignity. I always thought bullshit he died and dead is dead end of story.
Till yesterday where I was witness too and the part of a seven year old organization that I built with love, effort, time, money, sweat, pain and desire die like no other possible death then the one it deserved. A Pirate Death laughing at every thing around it with its middle finger flying high and proud. All Pirates know in their hearts that they will not last forever and this organization was no exception.
I got to choose its death and it was a good one with the sun going down on what I had already determined was its last game and two innings into a seven inning game it was dying time.
Seven years ago I took two boys from Little League and built a travel baseball team around them that went something like this:
* Seven Years of Travel Baseball played
* 300 games played
* An overall record of 163 wins and 137 losses
* 38 Different Pirate players
* Two players appeared in every season
* 32 High School Baseball Players
* Over 20,000 hits on our web site
* USSSA State Championship in 2007
* USSSA State runner up in 2005
* Hoosier Select League Championship
* Four different Tournament Championship’s
* Played Baseball in four States
* Nationally ranked for two years
See: http://www.leaguelineup.com/welcome.asp?url=lawrencepirates
All while coaches were calling my players and recruiting them because winning to them was more important then developing players.
This is not the reason for The Pirates death though. The Pirates were put together to prepare young players for High School teams and as they are now all juniors they had surpassed their first goal by two years and their High Schools are now requiring more of their time.
So with the sun setting late in the second inning and trailing by several run’s I simply knew it was time.
One of my players smashed a ball into deep center field a stand up double or sliding triple no way I am sending him what makes this funny is he is about the third slowest on the team. The players immediately knew what I was doing and started howling and having the time of their life. None of the fans at this time had figured it out. But here is what follows for the next few innings:
Starting pitcher on the bench, short stop at first base, third baseman at second and starting center fielder on the mound he has never pitched!
Only my catcher would not let go of the ship it was going down in a blaze of glory and he would have no part of it. Cussing and yelling like no other. This makes since as he was an early Pirate and always the competitor. I respect him for his vigilance but we were going down on my command.
The umps seen no humor in this but could not stop it you see what I have not told you is that we were in tournament play at the Nationals.
My team my death my choosing our last stand and we had fun! I can not tell you the score and do not care what it was. What I can tell you is that twelve sixteen year old players had a lot of fun.
I will miss these years and I will never get to be on the field with my son again he and I started when he was just three at the local YMCA he will be seventeen in a few weeks. He has a Baseball future, I do not.
I woke this morning and knew the Pirate ship was gone but I am sure I heard in the wind: One more out who wants it?
I do coach I do!
Till yesterday where I was witness too and the part of a seven year old organization that I built with love, effort, time, money, sweat, pain and desire die like no other possible death then the one it deserved. A Pirate Death laughing at every thing around it with its middle finger flying high and proud. All Pirates know in their hearts that they will not last forever and this organization was no exception.
I got to choose its death and it was a good one with the sun going down on what I had already determined was its last game and two innings into a seven inning game it was dying time.
Seven years ago I took two boys from Little League and built a travel baseball team around them that went something like this:
* Seven Years of Travel Baseball played
* 300 games played
* An overall record of 163 wins and 137 losses
* 38 Different Pirate players
* Two players appeared in every season
* 32 High School Baseball Players
* Over 20,000 hits on our web site
* USSSA State Championship in 2007
* USSSA State runner up in 2005
* Hoosier Select League Championship
* Four different Tournament Championship’s
* Played Baseball in four States
* Nationally ranked for two years
See: http://www.leaguelineup.com/welcome.asp?url=lawrencepirates
All while coaches were calling my players and recruiting them because winning to them was more important then developing players.
This is not the reason for The Pirates death though. The Pirates were put together to prepare young players for High School teams and as they are now all juniors they had surpassed their first goal by two years and their High Schools are now requiring more of their time.
So with the sun setting late in the second inning and trailing by several run’s I simply knew it was time.
One of my players smashed a ball into deep center field a stand up double or sliding triple no way I am sending him what makes this funny is he is about the third slowest on the team. The players immediately knew what I was doing and started howling and having the time of their life. None of the fans at this time had figured it out. But here is what follows for the next few innings:
Starting pitcher on the bench, short stop at first base, third baseman at second and starting center fielder on the mound he has never pitched!
Only my catcher would not let go of the ship it was going down in a blaze of glory and he would have no part of it. Cussing and yelling like no other. This makes since as he was an early Pirate and always the competitor. I respect him for his vigilance but we were going down on my command.
The umps seen no humor in this but could not stop it you see what I have not told you is that we were in tournament play at the Nationals.
My team my death my choosing our last stand and we had fun! I can not tell you the score and do not care what it was. What I can tell you is that twelve sixteen year old players had a lot of fun.
I will miss these years and I will never get to be on the field with my son again he and I started when he was just three at the local YMCA he will be seventeen in a few weeks. He has a Baseball future, I do not.
I woke this morning and knew the Pirate ship was gone but I am sure I heard in the wind: One more out who wants it?
I do coach I do!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Big boy pants
One son is two inches taller the other is about the same height as me. So we have a new problem in the family dynamic no one in my house has a clue to whose clothes is whose. What is the big deal well ask the friends how they feel about me walking out naked in search of said shorts because I have no under wear never ever! I wear black under amour and I am the only one in the house who does so if I can’t have my under wear not grabbed by mistake and placed God knows where, I will parade without hesitation through the house and check drawers until said under roes are found because naked is fine in my book commando is not.
I bet I will look hot in moms next time.
I bet I will look hot in moms next time.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Paradise is not ready for me
For now I am not ready or is it that life say’s I am not ready? We bought a beautiful home in Bonita Beach Florida A little more than a year ago, I retired and started going down every few weeks. Our home is on a private golf course that I love to play, with a private gym and a private beach. Should be good to go right? Not so much I drive my wife nuts I climb the walls and come home to be around the people I love.
I decided to start a small LLC and work when I want to and take off when I want. The only problem is the LLC started growing in February and come Tuesday my third employee will start. I am enjoying this and yes I can still blow it off and go south for the weekend but I am not sure that is the right thing to do now. When is the right time? Is it when I am too old to fully appreciate the things I have or when I am too young to slow down and smell the roses?
I love life and living everyday to the fullest but I am starting to believe for me work is a necessity to my brain not my wallet and with a seventeen and fourteen year old at home I think they need to see dad working.
So many future plans I like Sedona momma say’s she needs the ocean. I want to learn to fly and buy a plane momma say’s she is going to shoot me.
I am loving life but for now Paradise must wait.
I decided to start a small LLC and work when I want to and take off when I want. The only problem is the LLC started growing in February and come Tuesday my third employee will start. I am enjoying this and yes I can still blow it off and go south for the weekend but I am not sure that is the right thing to do now. When is the right time? Is it when I am too old to fully appreciate the things I have or when I am too young to slow down and smell the roses?
I love life and living everyday to the fullest but I am starting to believe for me work is a necessity to my brain not my wallet and with a seventeen and fourteen year old at home I think they need to see dad working.
I am loving life but for now Paradise must wait.
Monday, April 12, 2010
It's Time
It is about time after five years of my family’s numbers dropping because of death we get to add one to the tribe. Adding one may be a stretch as I count friends as family and in some cases more than family. In this case particular no surprise Blake has been here for six years but just recently he asked me for permission to marry my daughter. He asked correctly and with respect allotted to all concerned. He is a good man and will make a good son in law. I am proud to have him in my circle.
I am not loosing my daughter she is as close to me as ever. I am gaining another son this is good I have lost so many friends and family the last few years it is time for a celebration.
Blake graduates from Franklin University next month with good grades in four years and top of the business school he will need this because I have done an incredible job of spoiling his bride to be.
Kait will graduate from Butler next month with two majors in four years and a 3.0 in corporate communications she is a gifted writer unlike her father.
They will marry in August BIG PARTY BIG BIG PARTY! I am excited for them.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Play Ball
Summertime will start has soon as one of us can not fight the urge to speak what all are thinking it will happen after a High School Baseball game and soon. Most likely it will be me and out of my pie hole will come: “Who wants ice cream?” Nanc will try and be cool and say nah, she is lying. Everyone else will say yeah! Has they have been thinking it for a month we all know the same thing everyday for the next four months decisions and lots of em will need to be made: Malt, Shake, Float, Waffle bowl Sundae, Hot Fudge, Blizzard, Cone, Bowl, Strawberry, Chocolate, Vanilla so on and so on for months ice cream till we all go NO MORE! Thank God this takes four months before we get to that point because we need us some ice cream.
Dad Time
Some days I get to be a dad better than other days. Stretched out on the recliner tired and pissed off about something I can not change at 8:30 in the evening, my then sixteen year old walks in the room and says will you hit me some balls? My first thought was nah I am tired, it is late, and I am beat. Then the brain catches up to my mouth, Yes Sir, lets go I heard myself say. So it is off to the local High School for some dad time.
Cool moment that night there is another dad I do not know in the gym working with his daughter. He looks up at me and gives me an approving smile and I return his we never spoke but he knows what I know some other dad out there is missing this opportunity.
My sixteen year old does not want me to tell him how to catch girls, earn a living, get his grades, or hit an inside fast ball often but on rare occasion he will ask and then I will suck up my own bull shit and be his dad because on some days I get to do the one thing that some people miss out on and be a Dad it is a pretty cool thing to be!
A few nights ago I was sitting behind the visitor’s bench at the Pacer game and I noticed one of the 76ers blowing kisses to some one in the audience and I could not figure out whom, she had to be beautiful he is an NBA player. At half time I saw her has she walked out on the floor to get a kiss and her shoe tied, she was beautiful has she smiled at her dad. All I could think was good for you dude, good for you.
Cool moment that night there is another dad I do not know in the gym working with his daughter. He looks up at me and gives me an approving smile and I return his we never spoke but he knows what I know some other dad out there is missing this opportunity.
My sixteen year old does not want me to tell him how to catch girls, earn a living, get his grades, or hit an inside fast ball often but on rare occasion he will ask and then I will suck up my own bull shit and be his dad because on some days I get to do the one thing that some people miss out on and be a Dad it is a pretty cool thing to be!
A few nights ago I was sitting behind the visitor’s bench at the Pacer game and I noticed one of the 76ers blowing kisses to some one in the audience and I could not figure out whom, she had to be beautiful he is an NBA player. At half time I saw her has she walked out on the floor to get a kiss and her shoe tied, she was beautiful has she smiled at her dad. All I could think was good for you dude, good for you.
A Team
The Ground Hog picked the wrong team
There is an unholy conspiracy that is taking place at my home and against my wishes I am going to have to stop it.
I live with lots of friends most of them have four legs they know the rules and until this week all have followed a long except for the Raccoon which were banished to the house at the bottom of the hill where the neighbor still feeds them. She can have them they pee and poop in my barn they try to get in my boat and generally are butt holes.
The Ground Hog is not one of my favorite but he usually behaves until here lately. He has now decided to mound the front yard. He builds Burroughs roughly one foot high. I stomp them down and he rebuilds them every single day. This just started about a week ago. Yesterday I noticed that the Raccoons are back, I am not stupid they have teamed up now with the Ground Hog to retaliate.
I have a meeting with the Coyote today; the Raccoons and Ground Hog want to choose up side’s fine it’s on!
There is an unholy conspiracy that is taking place at my home and against my wishes I am going to have to stop it.
I live with lots of friends most of them have four legs they know the rules and until this week all have followed a long except for the Raccoon which were banished to the house at the bottom of the hill where the neighbor still feeds them. She can have them they pee and poop in my barn they try to get in my boat and generally are butt holes.
The Ground Hog is not one of my favorite but he usually behaves until here lately. He has now decided to mound the front yard. He builds Burroughs roughly one foot high. I stomp them down and he rebuilds them every single day. This just started about a week ago. Yesterday I noticed that the Raccoons are back, I am not stupid they have teamed up now with the Ground Hog to retaliate.
I have a meeting with the Coyote today; the Raccoons and Ground Hog want to choose up side’s fine it’s on!
Sleep Easy
Sleep easy Earth, because I and my daughter’s boyfriend kicked the Aliens butts! We were armed with an automatic machine gun that launched missiles and a flame thrower on the side. Yes sir for about forty bucks worth of a power card we were unstoppable.
There were these worm like creatures with big teeth, and these spider monsters that came out of pods and Aliens they were pretty easy though just about ten shots from my machine gun and they would turn to green goop. The spider things and the worms with teeth on the other hand took the use of my flame thrower no worries we torched-em! The Predator on the other hand is a whole other case he takes all you got and about forty slides of your power card = dollars to splatter! I am no one to back down though we stuck it out and saved Earth I expect a ticker tape parade will follow soon.
My wife and kids took the win tickets route they jumped rope, played trivia, and skeet ball after winning eight billion tickets we cashed in for matching grills, we are no fools!
Happy Birthday Jake
Dad
It just was
It was the wheels on the huge dumpster behind the local strip club that where unlocked when I ran the brand new Cadillac in to it accidentally on purpose which created the now well know game of dumpster shuffle board.
It was five in the morning when we decided to work on the wiring in the crawl space after being up all night.
It was kneeling at the alter in the Baptist church when I stuck him in the butt with a tack only to start a huge fight in the church and to be thrown out by the minister the night before his wedding.
It was endless fights in bars that once turned into the State Police being called and running out the back door of Piccadilly’s.
It was road trips planned in the spur of the moment.
It was sitting at high stakes games in Vegas.
It was stories I can not tell publicly.
It was calling for help and knowing someone was there.
It was holding his hand when I knew he was dying.
It’s about knowing I still have friends, but that one took memories to the grave.
Me and the Mountain
Real truth is found in real honesty; My Sensei told me one time there is no truth you will know like that of getting in a ring with another fighter. What he was saying is you can not hide you know at that moment if you trained hard enough, or if you took short cuts. There is only one other time in my life that I have had to face this kind of truth it is summit day while climbing a mountain.
You see on summit day you begin in the middle of the night, I am not talking about rock climbing today; I am talking about glacier climbing. You start the day at one in the morning so the ice is at a solid state for the ascent, the sky is black, your helmet is on, your personal avalanche locator engaged, crampon’s 12 point are on heavy boots strapped to your feet, Ice Axe in hand, head lamp on, back pack condensed to only the very essentials, heart pounding, head saying ok maybe you can’t do this and by the way it is so dark you can not see the two guys you are tied to. Is my harness tight enough? The last thought that rolls through your head before you step goes like this; you are ready, you have done your training, step sister step.
What a rush, I hope this thrill never leaves me what a day I have in store. You look straight up into a star field sky and there are no city’s lights blocking your view because the nearest city is miles away and 11,000 feet below you. So you finally start to walk you have worked for this moment for the last three months and there is only about 3500 more feet to climb not the biggest glacier in the world only 14,411 feet but the highest in the Continent and the key is that it is all ice from here on out and we are going vertical now.
One of my short comings is that I am not a very patient man and we must arrest step which is step breathe, step breathe and so on to prevent altitude sickness I do not like this task but I am not going any where for the next six hours but up so I will do as told.
At first you are bundled up it is cold, windy, and like I said you are standing on ice. But after a while you sweat, oh by the way I haven’t had a shower now in three days. Funny story I have always shaved I am not big on facial hair one morning during this trip I woke up with my face on my arm and the whiskers were rubbing my skin I was sleepy and in a strange place and I hadn’t had whiskers in a long time. I jumped up yelling something is on my face and I was in a three man tent with three guys, I can be a big dummy.
Watching the sun come up from what feels like below you is amazing, I do not care what you believe spiritually you only need to see this once and you know just how small you are and how awesome the universe really is. The Lower Cascade Mountains are now below you and a plane flies by about a 1000 feet below wow.
You have all heard the saying it is all down hill from here well the true meaning of that statement is when you take a pee break on the side of a Mountain. Breaks come every few hours sometimes tying off and unloading your back pack then retying and reloading is more work that the break is worth, until you sit and take in the view. Pee, power bar, melted snow water got to move again who cares my head has went from can I do this to lets go I can not wait to see what is next.
We have had to make our way around two crevasses this morning, a crevasse is an opening in the ice that can be a foot deep to several hundred feet there is no discussion on these moments you just huff and go around this is extra work and time.
Summit is with in sight your heart takes off I am going to make it I wish some one had told be just because you can see the top you will still be climbing for a few more hours. Then you go around a small crevasse twelve feet wide six feet deep and realize there is no more up and someone says were here. I can not hide this next statement tears run down your face I can not stop them I just did something very few people ever have. I am standing where only hundreds a year make it there were twenty eight people on Mt. Rainer this week I believe eighteen of us made it. I have accomplished something that secretly I was not sure if I could.
The celebration last for about forty five minuets and you quickly realize you must now leave so take this view in hard Mark you will never see this place again. Now down is just as far as up and oh by the way most accidents happen on the way down climbers are tired and get sloppy at this point. One last thing to do on top leave an I Love You to my wife scratched in to the ice.
We arrived back at base camp about three in the afternoon everyone crashed but me how can you sleep? I am higher than no other time in my life I don’t want this high to ever go away God please let me hold on to this moment and thank you.
Last day time to pack sixty pounds back on your back and go down the last 11,000 feet, we get a break today the snow is just right for BUTT SLEDING you load all of you gear tight to your back you put your slick snow pants on you grab your ice axe to steer with you sit and raise your feet. About 7,000 feet later at a very fast pace you think that was awesome lets do that again, ok maybe not today.
I want to see my family, I want to eat, I want to sleep, I want to do this again….I will
The Right to Bare Arms
I can make a T shirt last for ten years a few of them are now in their eleventh year momma is not happy. She threw my second favorite shirt in the trash yesterday, I dug it back out.
Nanc wants me to go out and get new clothes; I went to the mall last week and came home with new golf clubs! I bought new cleats does that count as shoes?
Today I reversed my winter clothes with my summer clothes in the closet but I wore a pair of shorts today in defiance of the season.
I like old soft baggy things, I don’t like nice new things that fit and look good yuck.
I probably should not discuss the condition of my under roo’s.
A sock with a small hole in it is ok the question is the definition of small.
I threw out two pair of shorts and one shirt the truth is I should have thrown all of them out but for today I can put them away and deal with this inner turmoil come spring.
I have six pair’s of board shorts that are new does that count? Most of my time is spent in the pool any way.
My sleeveless T’s are my favorite the gun show must go on.
I own three Armani Suites I don’t talk to them very much since they equal funerals, weddings, meetings and other events that me and my hyper activity don’t do well at.
I do have some new Baseball caps but I like the old soft ones better, you should see the sweat stains under the bill way cool.
My garage tennis shoes are my first to grab when leaving they squeak when I walk so that way I know where I am at.
Do I have to wear nice shoes with my nice jeans when we go to a nice dinner and I don’t want to put on nice dress pants? Do I still own dress pants does the above mentioned suit pants count?
I have several coats; I don’t wear any of them a hoodie is fine if you run from the car to the front door it works for me.
I used to like Colt’s gear till every one jumped on the band wagon now even I think hey get a clue it’s the boat show put on a nice flannel!
Guns, Tattoos and Potato Chips
What do Guns, Tattoos and Potato Chips have in common? “Bet you can’t have just one.”
As I pound my favorite bag of Sun Chips into goneness, I remember what a friend of my wife’s once told me when I came home with another Tattoo she said and I quote “Tattoos are like Guns you can’t have just one.”
Today I finished my Tattoos; I have a single Rose on my arm that has two twisted vines feeding into it with my wife’s name on the Rose. Now this was enough for years until I got the bright idea to add my three kids. This requires three Roses on my heart so I should be done right “Not so much” lets tie them all together so we now have a single vine from the back of my heart going to the double vine and the double vine back to the triple vines feeding to the kids Roses also with their names included. What to do when grand kids start showing up?
I was the repo man for a few years this was absolutely the funniest job ever and at some point I will write about a few of these experiences but not today. The reason I brought this job up is that I would like to say when I purchased my first gun it was to be my last but that would be a lie, I carried a pistol while repoing cars I did not like this at the time as I had a small child at home so the pistol stayed very secure when I got home. Now fast forward I trade for a Derringer because I like it, I inherit a shotgun & I get scared that our new Commander in Chief is about to take away our right to bear arms so I purchase a 357 but lets not stop there let’s get the pistol grip shot gun also “HEY I DON’T LIKE GUNS!” So let’s purchase a safe, and go to gun school, and go a few shooting range’s of course. PS I haven’t even mentioned my semi automatic.
Now back to my chips aw shit where’d they go? Honey we need more chips..
As I pound my favorite bag of Sun Chips into goneness, I remember what a friend of my wife’s once told me when I came home with another Tattoo she said and I quote “Tattoos are like Guns you can’t have just one.”
Today I finished my Tattoos; I have a single Rose on my arm that has two twisted vines feeding into it with my wife’s name on the Rose. Now this was enough for years until I got the bright idea to add my three kids. This requires three Roses on my heart so I should be done right “Not so much” lets tie them all together so we now have a single vine from the back of my heart going to the double vine and the double vine back to the triple vines feeding to the kids Roses also with their names included. What to do when grand kids start showing up?
I was the repo man for a few years this was absolutely the funniest job ever and at some point I will write about a few of these experiences but not today. The reason I brought this job up is that I would like to say when I purchased my first gun it was to be my last but that would be a lie, I carried a pistol while repoing cars I did not like this at the time as I had a small child at home so the pistol stayed very secure when I got home. Now fast forward I trade for a Derringer because I like it, I inherit a shotgun & I get scared that our new Commander in Chief is about to take away our right to bear arms so I purchase a 357 but lets not stop there let’s get the pistol grip shot gun also “HEY I DON’T LIKE GUNS!” So let’s purchase a safe, and go to gun school, and go a few shooting range’s of course. PS I haven’t even mentioned my semi automatic.
Now back to my chips aw shit where’d they go? Honey we need more chips..
Halloween
Death, the third of the Harvest holidays, the ending of the cycle, death, but with the hope of rebirth and the New Year, the traditional time for the annual slaughter to ensure food throughout the winter months. Take this time to remember departed ones. In some traditions the end of the year. The separation between this physical world and the spirit world is thin. Halloween customs are a part of this element of death, the thin line at this cycle and remembering the dead and the hopes of rebirth. On this night Magick is more powerful.
Saturday’s fall rituals went into full swing: cornucopia, hay, corn stalks, pumpkins, fall wreaths and other decorations all put in their place at my home.
The temperatures and clean air are just right for sound sleep. The sun yesterday was awesome and the moon that followed last night was incredible the animals are moving around storing food. We have a new friend here he is a beautiful fox equipped with black boots on his paws that go up to his knees.
Because our home is not really reachable for the tricker treaters we connected the front home to our property to a home out about 23 acres. Then we advertise for about a week before Halloween a free hayride last year we had one hundred and seventy five kids up from one hundred and fifty the year before I hope we hit two hundred this year! We hook a trailer to the Polaris and pull it over our land finishing with a trip through the haunted barn we will have about twenty ghosts and monsters popping out this year it is one of the fondest traditions at the Pressley home the comments, laughs and screams from the kids is a hoot some will ride two and three times. I hope as long as a Pressley lives here they will keep this tradition alive.
Happy Halloween to you
Saturday’s fall rituals went into full swing: cornucopia, hay, corn stalks, pumpkins, fall wreaths and other decorations all put in their place at my home.
The temperatures and clean air are just right for sound sleep. The sun yesterday was awesome and the moon that followed last night was incredible the animals are moving around storing food. We have a new friend here he is a beautiful fox equipped with black boots on his paws that go up to his knees.
Because our home is not really reachable for the tricker treaters we connected the front home to our property to a home out about 23 acres. Then we advertise for about a week before Halloween a free hayride last year we had one hundred and seventy five kids up from one hundred and fifty the year before I hope we hit two hundred this year! We hook a trailer to the Polaris and pull it over our land finishing with a trip through the haunted barn we will have about twenty ghosts and monsters popping out this year it is one of the fondest traditions at the Pressley home the comments, laughs and screams from the kids is a hoot some will ride two and three times. I hope as long as a Pressley lives here they will keep this tradition alive.
Happy Halloween to you
King of the road
Early into the dating ritual with Nancy, I was working eighty hour work weeks selling cars. Bet you can’t guess where I met her. When along came Labor Day weekend and I decided to take a few days and disappear with her. So I let out the well know war cry Road Trip! Nanc asked where and I said lets go to Grace Land she asked if I had ever been and I said nope, you? She replied no lets go.
At some point traveling south Nanc asked where is Grace Land I assumed that was obvious: Nashville - OOPPS! A case of Little Kings later and some where in Tennessee it was time to get something to eat. After being seated at Shoneys and not speaking with anyone for the last six or so hours the waitress asked in her best southern draw asked: “Can I help ya?” Well because of the lack of other voices but ours in the car and a certain amount of beer we went into a full belly laugh. Pretty sure we received a few extra ingredients in our meal that day.
Ah back on the road how much further? I don’t know then a moment of clarity “OH SHIT” what? Grace Land is in Memphis! More laughing more bad behavior and oh well lets go to the Smokey’s ok where is that? I don’t know a few miles that way I think. While Tennessee is not a very long state it is a really wide one. Many hours later we rolled into Gatlinburg with no idea that on a holiday weekend a room may be an issue. A hundred dollar tip to the hotel clerk and we found a room in The Sleepy Bear Hotel now this fine establishment comes equipped with a foam mattress, no phone, a black and white TV and a rusted out shower all to be shared with a few crawling friends.
This trip turned into spitting off the observation tower, bad food, silly souvenirs, and a visit to an authentic Cherokee Indiana village and so on. You can’t plan these adventures they just need to happen.
Twenty two years later I still haven’t seen Grace Land but on another occasion we set out for a nice dinner on the Ohio River and we ended up in a Noble Romans in Bloomington Indiana. When I do what it is I do it never goes exactly as planned but it always turns out to be an adventure in fun.
At some point traveling south Nanc asked where is Grace Land I assumed that was obvious: Nashville - OOPPS! A case of Little Kings later and some where in Tennessee it was time to get something to eat. After being seated at Shoneys and not speaking with anyone for the last six or so hours the waitress asked in her best southern draw asked: “Can I help ya?” Well because of the lack of other voices but ours in the car and a certain amount of beer we went into a full belly laugh. Pretty sure we received a few extra ingredients in our meal that day.
Ah back on the road how much further? I don’t know then a moment of clarity “OH SHIT” what? Grace Land is in Memphis! More laughing more bad behavior and oh well lets go to the Smokey’s ok where is that? I don’t know a few miles that way I think. While Tennessee is not a very long state it is a really wide one. Many hours later we rolled into Gatlinburg with no idea that on a holiday weekend a room may be an issue. A hundred dollar tip to the hotel clerk and we found a room in The Sleepy Bear Hotel now this fine establishment comes equipped with a foam mattress, no phone, a black and white TV and a rusted out shower all to be shared with a few crawling friends.
This trip turned into spitting off the observation tower, bad food, silly souvenirs, and a visit to an authentic Cherokee Indiana village and so on. You can’t plan these adventures they just need to happen.
Twenty two years later I still haven’t seen Grace Land but on another occasion we set out for a nice dinner on the Ohio River and we ended up in a Noble Romans in Bloomington Indiana. When I do what it is I do it never goes exactly as planned but it always turns out to be an adventure in fun.
Today
I will drag around this morning coffee in tow. I will work out when I want to. I will go out side and lay by the pool when I want to. My kids and their friends will come by and we will eat and drink and play cards when we want to. I will watch the sun rise go across the sky and set when it wants to.
Today I will not manipulate the day I will just let it be. I will be happy today and when I go to bed tonight when I want to I will sleep satisfied that today I simply enjoyed the day
Today I will not manipulate the day I will just let it be. I will be happy today and when I go to bed tonight when I want to I will sleep satisfied that today I simply enjoyed the day
Out goes the estrogen
The night after Kait left for college I found Nancy in the kitchen crying. I expected this baby girl moving out hurts I hurt too so I put my arms around her and tried to be comforting. This did not work so I pushed a little harder; I know its hard but she is not far and we will see her all the time, I did not see the next statement coming.
“That is not the problem; the problem is there is too many penises’s living in this house now!” Me and three boys here that is awful.”
Hey were not that bad so we smell a little, our hygiene can be lacking, we lay on the couch and burp and scratch, our clothes hardly ever match unless we just get lucky, we are subject to miss the toilet, dumb stuff on TV sounds like entertainment, we know wrestling is fake but we will argue its finer points, we must be told to do something four hundred and twelve times before it will actually happen, our music has no culture, we can do things that scare the daylight out of you, bed sheets do not need to be changed, I can wear the same pants about five days in a row, so what’s the big deal?
“That is not the problem; the problem is there is too many penises’s living in this house now!” Me and three boys here that is awful.”
Hey were not that bad so we smell a little, our hygiene can be lacking, we lay on the couch and burp and scratch, our clothes hardly ever match unless we just get lucky, we are subject to miss the toilet, dumb stuff on TV sounds like entertainment, we know wrestling is fake but we will argue its finer points, we must be told to do something four hundred and twelve times before it will actually happen, our music has no culture, we can do things that scare the daylight out of you, bed sheets do not need to be changed, I can wear the same pants about five days in a row, so what’s the big deal?
Really?
Cheaters, I can’t believe it, Cheaters. I have always read since eighth grade at some point three books a month till about six months ago. I could no longer stay interested and would fall asleep reading I thought fine I am just burned out on reading. But still every time I would start a new book same thing I would go out and fast.
A few nights ago I was struggling to read something and Nanc gave me her $9.95 Wall mart Cheaters and words on the page opened up; “wow I can read.” Oh no, I am not going to admit to this am I? Yes, I am and have but for now I am still borrowing mommas. I will need to go Cheater shopping this week Questions will need to be answered soon.
How Many? Can I still look sexy in Cheaters? What Color? Are these guys or girls Cheaters? Can I wear them and still be immature? Do they need to match my gray hair or my shirt or the belt I am wearing? Is there a difference in cheap Cheaters and high dollar Cheaters? Do they make high dollar Cheaters?
Cheaters Really???
A Sinner and a Saint
Show me who your friends are and I will show you who you are. This is a truth I am going to try and explain.
The Sinner:
About fifteen years ago my wife called me at work very scared; we were having a piece of carpet installed by a couple of handy men. They showed up drunk and in a nasty mood they were not doing the job properly and when my wife asked about it they were not real nice. Their mood switched to an ugly disposition in which she felt in danger. She went to the upstairs locked her self in and called me. I was at work and more then thirty minuets away I busted ass out the door but also knew the distance. My friend Troy lived close and due to his profession I knew he would be at home. I called on my way and the conversation went like this: T, momma is in trouble at home there are two drunks there hassling her and I can not get there quick enough.
Troy was at my house in five minuets pulled in my drive the two ass holes were in my garage as Troy stepped out of his car with one mean look one of the guys asked “who are you?” Troy’s answer was short and to the point as he chambered a round in his pistol “I am the end of this, you can load up and leave or take a step at me you pick.”
Both guys were leaving fast as I pulled in the drive, Nancy was safe. Troy and I never spoke a lot about this story it happened it was over. Troy showed up at my house with out hesitation he was prepared without hesitation to protect my family.
The Saint
I have spent most of my professional career on the road on this particular day I was near the Appalachian Mountains four hours away from home. My wife’s father was staying in Florida and his health turned bad fast when she received a call from the hospital that he would probably not make it and they were going to incubate.
Obviously she called me as hurt as I have ever heard her my first instinct is to always help but how could I? All I could say was let me make a call and I will call you back. I called my friend and boss Mark T. I explained what was happening with out hesitation he asked me “where is the closest airport to your wife?” I told him and with in one hour there was a private jet sitting on the run way waiting for her, my sister in-law and brother in law.
My wife was able to speak with her father in person and he was still coherent, he lived for a short time after this and we were even able to get him home but this conversation was one of the last meaningful ones she would have with her father.
The jet and pilot waited in Florida for two days for Nancy at zero cost to us. I will never know the total bill for this but I am sure it was north of twenty thousand dollars. Not one penny would Mark take for this he would hardly even sit still to hear a thank you.
The sinner passed away about two years ago self educed drug abuse true to his nature to the end. The saint has so many stories like the one above and more to come I am sure. Both men live and lived their lives as exactly life made them. They never got the chance to meet they would have loved each other both passionate in their convictions both good ole boys and both my friends.
You see I am some where in the middle I am a sinner and I can be a saint, Show me who your friends are and I will show you who you are.
The Sinner:
About fifteen years ago my wife called me at work very scared; we were having a piece of carpet installed by a couple of handy men. They showed up drunk and in a nasty mood they were not doing the job properly and when my wife asked about it they were not real nice. Their mood switched to an ugly disposition in which she felt in danger. She went to the upstairs locked her self in and called me. I was at work and more then thirty minuets away I busted ass out the door but also knew the distance. My friend Troy lived close and due to his profession I knew he would be at home. I called on my way and the conversation went like this: T, momma is in trouble at home there are two drunks there hassling her and I can not get there quick enough.
Troy was at my house in five minuets pulled in my drive the two ass holes were in my garage as Troy stepped out of his car with one mean look one of the guys asked “who are you?” Troy’s answer was short and to the point as he chambered a round in his pistol “I am the end of this, you can load up and leave or take a step at me you pick.”
Both guys were leaving fast as I pulled in the drive, Nancy was safe. Troy and I never spoke a lot about this story it happened it was over. Troy showed up at my house with out hesitation he was prepared without hesitation to protect my family.
The Saint
I have spent most of my professional career on the road on this particular day I was near the Appalachian Mountains four hours away from home. My wife’s father was staying in Florida and his health turned bad fast when she received a call from the hospital that he would probably not make it and they were going to incubate.
Obviously she called me as hurt as I have ever heard her my first instinct is to always help but how could I? All I could say was let me make a call and I will call you back. I called my friend and boss Mark T. I explained what was happening with out hesitation he asked me “where is the closest airport to your wife?” I told him and with in one hour there was a private jet sitting on the run way waiting for her, my sister in-law and brother in law.
My wife was able to speak with her father in person and he was still coherent, he lived for a short time after this and we were even able to get him home but this conversation was one of the last meaningful ones she would have with her father.
The jet and pilot waited in Florida for two days for Nancy at zero cost to us. I will never know the total bill for this but I am sure it was north of twenty thousand dollars. Not one penny would Mark take for this he would hardly even sit still to hear a thank you.
The sinner passed away about two years ago self educed drug abuse true to his nature to the end. The saint has so many stories like the one above and more to come I am sure. Both men live and lived their lives as exactly life made them. They never got the chance to meet they would have loved each other both passionate in their convictions both good ole boys and both my friends.
You see I am some where in the middle I am a sinner and I can be a saint, Show me who your friends are and I will show you who you are.
Man Holiday
Today is my second favorite holiday, I understand that a few of you may not recognize today has a national holiday because it is more of a religious holiday to me, and I know it is a little harder to get the government to recognize it since some people may not worship the same as others and there is the need to be politically correct, but never the less this is a great day.
Like all holidays there are certain customs that must be followed. After twenty three years me and my wife have never missed the first tradition, it is called the pre-conversation. For those of you that do not know how it goes I will try and do a reenactment.
Mark: Honey, The Boat Show starts today!
Wife: We do not have the money to spend right now
Mark: Ron is leaving us passes at the door
I know she is not talking about the gate price. She is talking about the fact that I have the self control of a puppy in a butt hole factory! I can justify any stupid purchase like no other.
Wife: I am not going
Mark: Let’s go tonight
Wife: I do not want to go
Mark: But I want you to go
Understand she knows I am going this dialog is a matter of tradition, and yes I want her to go.
Wife: No, you need to go out and work
Mark: I know but this is the last year for the big motor in the Supra, and there is a guy coming from Ohio that can cast 70 yards, and I have been thinking we need to do a family camping trip to Canada, and I…so on
Wife: What ever, you are a big kid
Mark: I know but, if we go next weekend to we can get a free pass to the Motor cycle show also!
See I am smart like that!
Now the big moment; should I tell her today that the The Gun and Knife Show is March 20th or wait till later?
Like all holidays there are certain customs that must be followed. After twenty three years me and my wife have never missed the first tradition, it is called the pre-conversation. For those of you that do not know how it goes I will try and do a reenactment.
Mark: Honey, The Boat Show starts today!
Wife: We do not have the money to spend right now
Mark: Ron is leaving us passes at the door
I know she is not talking about the gate price. She is talking about the fact that I have the self control of a puppy in a butt hole factory! I can justify any stupid purchase like no other.
Wife: I am not going
Mark: Let’s go tonight
Wife: I do not want to go
Mark: But I want you to go
Understand she knows I am going this dialog is a matter of tradition, and yes I want her to go.
Wife: No, you need to go out and work
Mark: I know but this is the last year for the big motor in the Supra, and there is a guy coming from Ohio that can cast 70 yards, and I have been thinking we need to do a family camping trip to Canada, and I…so on
Wife: What ever, you are a big kid
Mark: I know but, if we go next weekend to we can get a free pass to the Motor cycle show also!
See I am smart like that!
Now the big moment; should I tell her today that the The Gun and Knife Show is March 20th or wait till later?
Hey Hey Rock N Roll Will Never Die
“Hey Hey Rock N Roll Will Never Die”
Maybe so, but a retirement home for a few that shall be named is probably in order. Over the past five years or so I have taken in a few concerts of old high school favorites.
This has sort of felt like having dessert after a huge steak dinner, it tasted good but I really did not need that.
The day after the Super Bowl everyone went on about how good Bruce Springsteen was. No no no that was more like the Janitor not The Boss. Bruce a face lift and hair color ouch you were the Boss. Also please tell your wife she owes me $20. for that last CD.
Elton John can still bang the key board like no other but EJ you may want to think about mixing in a salad. Please
Kiss while I still get the make up it was what made you so cool; I think you may want to pass on the Spandex. I have embarrassed my kids like no other but never have I thought Hey Spandex would look good today.
Tom Petty went on and on about his people; “My People, My People” Uhm T go ahead and not roll another one ok?
Paul McCartney: Sir Paul how did you not read man rules 101? See Booby Bar etiquette, the girl dancing really is not that interested in you. When a girl twenty plus years younger than you tells you that “your hot and loves you”, she is lying. Duh enjoy the show move on.
Steven Tyler is a rock God but dude one more face lift and you will be able to use your pubes for a beard.
There is one exception I have found it is Bob Seger he has aged like the road warrior that he was and does not try to hide it and I am not sure but may very well sound better today.
From time to time I have this idea that it would be interesting to look up some of my old girl friends that I have not seen in twenty three plus years, just to see how they turned out. I think not let’s leave those memories in tack.
“Hey honey, Fleetwood Mac is coming next month I think Stevie Nicks was hot!”
Maybe so, but a retirement home for a few that shall be named is probably in order. Over the past five years or so I have taken in a few concerts of old high school favorites.
This has sort of felt like having dessert after a huge steak dinner, it tasted good but I really did not need that.
The day after the Super Bowl everyone went on about how good Bruce Springsteen was. No no no that was more like the Janitor not The Boss. Bruce a face lift and hair color ouch you were the Boss. Also please tell your wife she owes me $20. for that last CD.
Elton John can still bang the key board like no other but EJ you may want to think about mixing in a salad. Please
Kiss while I still get the make up it was what made you so cool; I think you may want to pass on the Spandex. I have embarrassed my kids like no other but never have I thought Hey Spandex would look good today.
Tom Petty went on and on about his people; “My People, My People” Uhm T go ahead and not roll another one ok?
Paul McCartney: Sir Paul how did you not read man rules 101? See Booby Bar etiquette, the girl dancing really is not that interested in you. When a girl twenty plus years younger than you tells you that “your hot and loves you”, she is lying. Duh enjoy the show move on.
Steven Tyler is a rock God but dude one more face lift and you will be able to use your pubes for a beard.
There is one exception I have found it is Bob Seger he has aged like the road warrior that he was and does not try to hide it and I am not sure but may very well sound better today.
From time to time I have this idea that it would be interesting to look up some of my old girl friends that I have not seen in twenty three plus years, just to see how they turned out. I think not let’s leave those memories in tack.
“Hey honey, Fleetwood Mac is coming next month I think Stevie Nicks was hot!”
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Things I Know
I am poorly educated and very illiterate but I am going to write anyway.
Money can’t buy you happiness, but I would rather have money and be miserable then broke and miserable.
I used to believe he who dies with the most toys wins. Now I believe there are trade offs some toys are fun to have, some are not worth the effort, but at the end of the day he who dies with the most friends wins.
The more some one preaches to me about religion the more I do not trust them.
Your relationship with God is about your relationship with God. When you go to Heaven, or wherever you go, it’s between you and God. It’s not between anyone else, I could be called a Pagan, I suppose, but if you go back far enough, you’ll find that Pagans really are people who believe in the Earth, they’re people who believe in the harmony of nature. They’re like the Indians, they believe in the Great Spirit, and it was the insecurity of Christianity that turned Paganism into a negative term.
I get more enjoyment out of my children’s accomplishments then my own.
Just sitting at the table with a cup of coffee, the paper, and my wife is my favorite part of the day.
Youth does not equal beauty and beauty does not equal youth.
My wife is prettier today than the day I married her.
The last thing you said to someone may be the last thing you will ever tell that person. People die at all ages and all the time, be warned.
Everyone should experience the sun rising from the top of a mountain.
My kid’s, I am proud of them.
Work as hard as you live and live as hard as you work.
Shooting a deer is stupid; I am not against hunting it just does not seem like much of a contest. Get a big knife and go hunt a Grizzly Bear sissy.
A Republican with a heart bred with a Democrat with a brain would be awesome. I don’t believe this person exists.
Pull my finger will always be funny.
If I want something bad enough I visualize it. The universe is a pretty cool place.
There is magic in a circle.
One of my children laughing is the best sound I will ever hear.
My wife is a stronger person than me.
I can piss people off but I will always be honest.
I am not the smartest or strongest or best educated, but I will out work you! This attitude as done me well in life, it is truly the only thing I can control I will out work you and in turn I will pass you.
What I want at forty eight does not look anything like what I wanted at twenty one. draft 6:33:00 PM by Mark Pressley Delete
Money can’t buy you happiness, but I would rather have money and be miserable then broke and miserable.
I used to believe he who dies with the most toys wins. Now I believe there are trade offs some toys are fun to have, some are not worth the effort, but at the end of the day he who dies with the most friends wins.
The more some one preaches to me about religion the more I do not trust them.
Your relationship with God is about your relationship with God. When you go to Heaven, or wherever you go, it’s between you and God. It’s not between anyone else, I could be called a Pagan, I suppose, but if you go back far enough, you’ll find that Pagans really are people who believe in the Earth, they’re people who believe in the harmony of nature. They’re like the Indians, they believe in the Great Spirit, and it was the insecurity of Christianity that turned Paganism into a negative term.
I get more enjoyment out of my children’s accomplishments then my own.
Just sitting at the table with a cup of coffee, the paper, and my wife is my favorite part of the day.
Youth does not equal beauty and beauty does not equal youth.
My wife is prettier today than the day I married her.
The last thing you said to someone may be the last thing you will ever tell that person. People die at all ages and all the time, be warned.
Everyone should experience the sun rising from the top of a mountain.
My kid’s, I am proud of them.
Work as hard as you live and live as hard as you work.
Shooting a deer is stupid; I am not against hunting it just does not seem like much of a contest. Get a big knife and go hunt a Grizzly Bear sissy.
A Republican with a heart bred with a Democrat with a brain would be awesome. I don’t believe this person exists.
Pull my finger will always be funny.
If I want something bad enough I visualize it. The universe is a pretty cool place.
There is magic in a circle.
One of my children laughing is the best sound I will ever hear.
My wife is a stronger person than me.
I can piss people off but I will always be honest.
I am not the smartest or strongest or best educated, but I will out work you! This attitude as done me well in life, it is truly the only thing I can control I will out work you and in turn I will pass you.
What I want at forty eight does not look anything like what I wanted at twenty one. draft 6:33:00 PM by Mark Pressley Delete
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